- We went back for you. Rick and I, we did right by you.
- This the same Rick that cuffed me to the rooftop in the first place? Forced me to cut off my own hand? This him we’re talking about here?

ima1ing:

spankkitten:

malformalady:

Octopus eggs

Photo credit: Simon Chandra

FUN FACT: These eggs are evil. Octopus babies are evil. Let me tell you why. The octopus mother lays her eggs in a cave roof and spends 6 months guarding them from potential predators and swaying the eggs with her tentacle so they get oxygen. This means she doesn’t eat or sleep until they hatch. When the octopus babies hatch, she dies from fatigue and starvation. THEN THEY FUCKING EAT HER. THEY EAT THEIR MOTHER WHO DIED BECAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING AFTER THEM. THEY. EAT. HER.

This sounds like what my mother said i did to her

comeupkid415:

lolfactory:

The anthropologists decided that this tribe was to remain “uncontacted”.

This is one of the best things iv seen today

benwinstagram:

She still doing this bullshit…

partlystarsmostlyvoid:

madmenandmayhem:

evilspice:

toyota:

damn the pope about to preach some sick verses

the guy beatboxing behind him

"the guy" is the italian president

P-Francis and the Prez

luvyourselfsomeesteem:

senhoritaugly:

I just had a grown man tell me to “go make me a sandwich” as I was doing his pourover

I told him I didn’t understand what he meant because we’re a coffee shop, and he was like “oh it’s a joke” and I said I “didn’t get it” and he went “it’s funny because you’re a woman working in a kitchen”

And I just stared at him until he got how stupid he sounded

let them feel their ignorance burn into their souls

sylvie-divine:

Best political cartoons.

toastyhat:

san-likes-ashitaka:

Guys, I came up with a gender neutral way of saying you’re like family with a close friend:

"We’re sibs from different cribs."

gaspGASP

So you like chemistry puns…

aceinnatailsuit:

captainriz:

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

IT’S LIKE THE WHO’S ON FIRST OF SCIENCE JOKES

gnarly:

meeting someone who has the same music taste as you

image

louweetomlinson:

Harry goes in for a chest bump and gets a hug. Louis goes in for a bro fist and gets a twirl. 

#wiz khalifa goes in for nothing at all and gets a kiss

wonnderr-lusttt:

looow-tus:

undftdaniel:

defend-sissy-boy-emo:

jadelyn:

holypuckingcow:

abbysetcetera:

Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own. 

and mixing them with vodka

At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.

And then regretting your decisions the next morning.

Because you have to work.

and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.

and vodka

“not my fat ass”

me while evaluating a very small space my thin friends somehow expect me to occupy (via fatphrodite)

©lousontiptoes